Shot Through the Heart

We went in for Harper's two month check up today which included her first round of vaccinations. Wow. That's really tough. Usually when she cries it's because she's hungry or needs to be changed or she's tired and needs to go to sleep. Today was the first time she's ever cried due to pain.
We can probably all remember getting the latter rounds of our childhood vaccinations. Or maybe more recently getting a Tetanus booster if we stepped on a nail or were traveling abroad (because Europe is just teaming with exposed nails). But only our parents can recollect our first immunization shots. And just as I can't remember being two months old, I know Harper won't be able to recall this trauma when she's older. In fact it could probably be argued that she forgot about it thirty seconds later when we stuck the bottle in her mouth. But I still wonder if this moment won't be permanently branded on her psyche. If perhaps she won't have an image burned into her cerebral cortex of her parents standing over her assuring her it's okay as the needles are plunged into her meaty thighs one after another. I can imagine her thoughts as I held her arm down: "Hellooo! Daddy! Like, this nurse is totally stabbing me in the femur and you're, like, doing less than zero about it!" Yes, in my head Harper is a 16 year old surfer chick. Or maybe she thought we'd abandoned her. Left her to the malicious hospital staff with the two inch needles! My only consolation is that maybe she was crying so hard that her vision was obscurred by the tears and she didn't get a clear look at who was there.
And I want to be perfectly clear, she was crying really, REALLY hard. I've never seen her in such a state. She screamed louder than I knew she could. So loudly and with such forcefulness that for a few seconds she was silent, unable to produce any more sound but too distressed to take a breath. Her face, red as a ripe tomato, was frozen in an expression of unimaginable anguish. Contorted in a way that I imagine every face in Hell must be! It was as though her expression was broken and she would never be able to smile or laugh again. It was absolutely heart breaking.
But it made me think of my own parents who stood by me and did their best to soothe me while I wailed the same way. I know that they allowed me to endure that pain because it was ultimately best for me. That in reality they were proctecting me from much worse suffering just as we believe we are with Harper. And I imagine God feels similarly when He is perfecting us through hardships. We scream and cry out and blame God or believe He's abandoned us. But really He cradles and gently soothes us as He reminds us that everything will be alright. And as much as I tell Harper the same, I know someday I'm going to be wrong. Someday I will be proven a liar regardless of my intentions. Because only God can say, "Everything will be alright", and know for certain it will. He's the only One here who can be sure, the only One who always tells the truth. It is important for me to remember that when things are difficult and God tells me it's okay, that it really is. In this life we can be sure of nothing except what God has promised and He's promised some fantastic things.