Knuckle Sandwich

I have a confession to make. And I had no idea this blog was going to be so full of personal secrets, but journalistic integrity demands it. Or something. Whatever, the confession is this: I sucked my thumb until I was 13 years old. That's right, 13! I was in Jr. High before I finally outgrew it.
I can remember the shame I felt as I kept getting older and older but couldn't compel myself to stop. It was very embarassing and my biggest fear became, "What if my friends find out?" At sleepovers, I would pull blankets or sleeping bags over my head to avoid detection. Of course, I eventually quit. I believe it went something along the lines of me saying, "This is stupid, just stop!" And then I stopped.
So you can imagine my consternation at the thought of Harper falling into the habit. "It's like crack", I tell her. "You think, 'This is great! It's cheap, it's easy to find, and as long as I have it, I'll always be able to soothe myself'". That is until you can't sleep without it, or it ruins your teeth, or you end up married to Bobby Brown! "Crack is whack", I say, "And sucking your thumb is just plain dumb." This has been my mantra.
And it hasn't really been a concern since she's been perfectly happy with pacifiers. However, over the past week or so Harper has decided she no longer likes pacifiers. Used to be, she would eat, we would burp her, she would get a little fussy, we would pop a paci into her pucker and she'd peacefully pass out. Parental paradise! No so anymore. Now, you offer the binky and she spits it out redoubling her urgent cries. Then she started trying to comfort herself by attempting to suck her thumb. But she can't quite figure out how to extend that one opposable digit away from the others. Thus she ends up sucking most of her fist (see the image above). Or she hooks her thumb under her first finger like she's playing "Got Your Nose". Except she's playing, "Got Your Nose, And Now I'm Gonna Try And Suck Out Your Nostrils", which, as you can imagine, is not nearly as enjoyable so she ends up crying all the more.
Finally today, she acheived success. She outsmarted her hand and got the thumb by itself in her mouth. But I'm feeling a little ambivalent about this progression. She now has the ability to self-soothe, by all accounts a tremendous water mark for a baby, especially at two months. But now I have to wonder, "Will she get hooked?" Will we have to stage an intervention at some point down the line as my family did?
I can still remember that evening in the kitchen when I was about ten years old. My whole family gathered around while my mom poured ground pepper on my thumb. They all stood there telling me it was going to make my thumb taste like candy. They were Wonkafying my habit, I thought. But I was suspicious. This was an activity they constantly frowned upon, even moving more and more towards punishing me to coerce a cease sucking.
I should have listened to my gut. It was a lot smaller then, but just as smart. As soon as I popped my thumb in my mouth, a horrible, spicy flavor exploded. I broke down into tears immediately as my family burst into laughter. Betrayed! That was as close to emotional abuse as it ever got in my family. I think my mom probably apologized and washed my thumb off. But then a funny thing happened. For the next few hours, I actually thought it had worked. I was cured! Until I went to bed.
We can always take away her pacifier, but we can't remove her thumb. Or can we...? No, that's terrible. So I'm hoping and praying that she will be like the zillion other kids on planet Earth who simply outgrow it as toddlers and not like the one sucker that sired her who couldn't quit even after being punk'd by his parents!